About Patricia (Patti) Dekowny, MSW, RSW
Registered Social Worker|Perspective Mental Health Counselling
Why I Work The Way I Do
I’ve spent more than 25 years working in mental health and addictions, and a lot of the people who end up sitting with me never thought they would go to counselling.
Some do not know what to say. Some are there because their partner has been asking them to go for months. Some are angry, shut down, exhausted, or just tired of having the same thing happen over and over.
You don’t have to know how to do therapy to work with me.
I’m much more interested in what is actually happening in your life: what happened in the argument, why you went quiet, what made that comment from your boss hit so hard, or why something that seemed small turned into a blow-up.
Once we understand why the reaction makes sense, we somewhere useful to start.
About Patti
Patricia (Patti) Dekowny, MSW, RSW
Registered Social Worker in Saskatchewan, Alberta, and Ontario
For more than 25 years, I’ve worked with adults and couples dealing with anger, trauma, anxiety, depression, addiction, relationship strain, and the patterns that keep showing up even when they’ve tried to change them.
I’m used to working with people who don’t usually open up, who are used to pushing through, or who are not even sure counselling is going to help.
You do not have to come in knowing what to say.
My style is straightforward and practical. I ask questions, pay attention to what happens when something gets uncomfortable, and I help you figure out wha is actually driving the reaction.
And yes, sometimes there is humour. Talking about hard things does not mean every minute has to feel heavy.
You can say what you actually think, not what you think you’re supposed to say.
You Don’t Have to Want to Be Here Yet
You don’t have to convince me you want to be here. Maybe your wife booked the appointment. Maybe your doctor suggested it. Maybe your sitting there thinking “This is bullshit. I don’t need therapy.”
You can tell me that. I’m not going to spend the session trying to convince you that you need therapy. I’d rather figure out what you think is happening, what other people are concerned about, and whether there is actually anything you want to be different.
Sometimes we agree.
Sometimes we don’t.
Sometimes a guy tells me, “That’s not it,” and we go in a different direction. That’s useful information, not resistance I need to overcome.
The session has to make sense to you, not just to me.
How I Help You Make Sense of What’s Happening
We Start With What Happened
The argument, the shutdown, the comment that set you off or the night you could not shut your brain off. We start with the actual moment instead of guessing.
We Figure Out Why You Reacted That Way
We look at what was happening underneath the anger, defensiveness, avoidance or overwhelm, and what your reaction was trying to do for you.
Then We Work on What Happens Next
Once the pattern makes sense, we find ways to catch it earlier and respond differently when the same situation comes up again.